give it away

So, I thought I was going to lose my job…thank God I didn’t.

With that said.  I have 36 days left in the city and I don’t want to waste a minute.  I feel like I have seen so much, shared so many memories with new friends here, and enjoyed the beauty of the area, but I feel like there is something lacking.

I have learned a lot, but am still frustrated feeling like I should be learning more.  We are all our own strongest critics so I am always going to be striving for more, but I just don’t want to miss out on something.  I have a lot of time left and a lot of learning and adventuring to do.

I miss Breez and Harrison a lot.  I know they miss me as well, but they would probably punch me and wrestle me to the ground for saying something “girly” like that.

The past week has been filled with tons of excitement as well as frustration.  We shall see what’s waiting just around the river-bend.

In less than twelve hours, I will be embarking on an adventure of a lifetime. I am leaving for Buffalo at 3am. Wednesday morning and will begin my flight to San Francisco and the start of a life changing experience. This summer will be a chance to test my fortitude, my ability to listen and obey my Father, to pray with faith and conviction, to mend the lacerations of my heart, to heal the hurt of our brothers and sisters, to get my hands dirty in service, to see the face of Jesus in a whole new light, and to share my life daily with everyone I come into contact with.

Heads up San Francisco, it’s business time.

(this is an old entry that i apparently didn’t have time to post before i left…it was a good reminder today to help me remember why i came here)

Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them.
Mother Teresa

This fall I plan on reading whatever I can get my hands on, about Mother Teresa. The more I hear about her and read of her, the more I am challenged and inspired.

It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
Mother Teresa

it’s not hard to give up something
that wasn’t really there before

only in memories and dreams
did i find an open door

it’s not hard to give up what
we didn’t really have before

all that is left is to trust God.

I really miss blogging a lot.

I can only use the internet every few days or so and it’s often just enough time to check my email/facebook.

I am working on a way of trying to blog more frequently, so stay tuned for that.  Apparently CSM is having a blogging competition and I can win Starbucks giftcards if I am a winner of one of the week(s) (score!).

I have been going on walks alone a lot lately, just like at school.  It is something that I really need.  It gives me a chance to get away and to pray and to breathe in the fresh air.  It is probably one of my favorite things in life, to go walking at night.  Recently, my friends here noticed that I would randomly take off and be gone for a while so the one girl started joking that I was “seeing someone” and that’s why I kept sneaking off.  Well, the joke continued, but most of the others didn’t know it was a joke and kept asking who she was…Finally, I gave in and told them what they wanted to hear.

I made up this sweet story of how I met this girl Mallory in a coffee shop in the city and we made small talk and I eventually got her number and she was going to come play with us at open mic night.  All the girls were freaking out and were so excited….then I broke the news to them that it was fake haha.

The moral of the story is….give the people what they want.  I suppose Mallory looked a little something like the girl in the picture above…except she would be using a Mac.

i used to wonder where you are, these days I can’t find where you are not

looks like it’s on today

today is the last full day of service with my first group.  we are going to oakland to work at a dining home and then working at a rescue mission

oakland is pretty bamf so i am pumped for that

i bought a skateboard off this guy on the street yesterday so i’m ready to break some bones…and to answer your questions, i was driving down those two really sweet streets, but now that i have a skateboard, there’s been a change in plans

yesterday i was reminded of how Jesus is the man.  today will be something else.  what is God teaching you recently? ….and i want responses

I started hosting my first group Sunday night. They are a youth group of 10 from Idaho. They are pretty motivated kids with sweet leaders so I definitely lucked out.

The summer is going swimmingly so far. Everyday I am blown away by how awesome the other city hosts are. I feel like it is rare to bring 11 people together from all over the map and have everyone hit it off so well. Sure, we’ll have our bumps, but it should be a pretty sweet summer.

I feel like the more I am learning here, the less I have to say. Maybe I don’t have less to say, but I find it more difficult to find words to describe how I am feeling. I feel like maybe that is God telling me to just sit back and take it. To soak in and drown in everything. Maybe I really need to die to myself for once and I guess drowning is a good way to go.

This summer’s prayers are of a similar fashion. I want to be so broken and desperate for Jesus. I want that thirst that causes me to walk miles in the opposite direction in search of him, or that curiosity that compels you to climb a tree to get a better glance. I am praying for God to just strip me to the basics and mold me into the son he has destined me to be. This all sounds so intense.

But I am just sore from the wanting. I am tired of the fleeting things of this world. And I am tired of the sin that gets trapped in the entanglements.

One day the waters gonna wash it away..

p.s…lombard is the most crooked street in the country and filbert is the steepest (5 points go to Sang)

hello lombard and filbert…i’ve missed you

God is faithful.

This place is amazing.

Poverty is real.

I know nothing.

But I know God is faithful.